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Friday, 10 March 2017

I am a married woman and it's basically 'the end of my life'

I am an engineer in IT and an MBA (finance). I am an independent woman who has lived an independent life on her own salary without my parents ever paying my rent. I was happy then, and eventually as per our family traditions, I was asked to "marry".

For girls like us, marriage is a beautiful thing. The prince charming would be your husband and you will live happily ever after , that was always extrapolated from the many Bollywood movies. And then I got married.

I was asked to leave my job. My in-laws asked for it and my parents never questioned it. So I thought that it would be the right decision, we as children, always count on our parents' decisions. But often forget to understand how wrong their decisions can be, sometimes for life.

Today after four years of my marriage, I am regretting that decision and living a life where my heart is hollow from inside.

I am the first person to wake up in the morning, who prepares everyone a breakfast. Note: all my life I have studied. And I love studying, but since the day i got married I am just trying to learn recipes.

Secondly, throughout the day, I am only doing household chores. Before marriage, I used to make projects, read books, chat with friends and went out for dinners.

Thirdly, I can't talk to my family whenever I want or vice versa and my family has accepted my fate. "Sasural mein kaise baat karegi bechari."


My family can feel the pain but they can't do anything about it . And my mother-in-law has always taunted me and my mother to not to talk on the phone when it's food time. They eat 6 times a day in this house so I have absolutely no time for my family.

Fourth, I can't meet my friends or attend their weddings if my husband and my in-laws don't permit. I also missed my best friend's wedding.

Fifth , I am not allowed to be unwell. One morning I didn't wake up as I was going through menstrual pains and it's damn severe for me, my in-laws threw tantrums at me, they didn't ask me once if I was fine. You, as a married woman, are not allowed to behave like a normal human being. You are not allowed to be in pain or be tired.

Sixth, no matter what you do, if your husband is frustrated, he can hit you hard without feeling any guilt. If you are frustrated, you can't even cry.

After four years of my marriage , after sacrificing everything that I loved in my life, my in-laws are still not happy with me and I am still trying to prove to them that I'm a person who is perfect for their family. They still want to keep torturing me.

The problem is in the backbone of the family where girls like us are born and brought up. We are being made to tolerate, to adjust, and to traumatise ourselves.

But now I am definitely not the same person. I have realised that your in-laws are never going to be happy with you. It's better to give them a message loud and clear that you won't let them rule your life, before it's too late.

(Source: Akkar Bakkar)

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