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Saturday, 22 April 2017

Dear mother-in-law, I'll never get over what you said to me: We're done and I'm not sorry

Dear Mother-in-law,
I married your son and moved into your house. Life seems manageable even though there were hiccups here and there. Thanks to your son because he has been my pillar of strength no matter what.

Like every other family, my own family was hit with a disastrous crisis. My own elder brother fell into bad company and stole my mother’s gold and cash to invest in an illegal product. That news shocked our entire family. I still remember how my mother called me every single day, her eye balls out telling me how lost she and dad were. I want to be there for my mother and father through this tough time. I told you.

I asked for your permission before stepping out of that house to accompany my parents for a few days. After all, I’m their daughter. For the past 24 years that was my house. From the way you nodded, I knew you didn't want to let me go to my house.

Even my mother called and explained my family situation. You responded with self pride saying I must come back as soon as possible. Who gave you the permission to put forward such a demand in front of my mother? To send her own daughter back when you wanted?

You are just my husband's mother. And grandmother for my future children. That’s all and that’s it. You don’t have any right to order my family around.

But still my parents kept quite. Because they don’t want their 'newlywed precious daughter’s life' to be ruined. When I was at my parents' house, you called me and asked me when I was coming back. I answered politely saying, in 2 days. You started your tantrums. I listened to every single word you said about my brother and his wrong deed. I never fought back. I respected you.

More than the respect I have for you, I love your son. I don’t want the quarrel between you and I to affect him. That’s when you said those words.


You questioned my ability to conceive even though it’s been just one year of marriage. I was so shocked with your question. To my horror, you said that my entire family should have some sort of condition that caused my delay in pregnancy. I hung up the call. Our conversation ended there.

My father accompanied me to send me back to your house after a few weeks. As courtesy, my father explained our family situation to you. You cut him off by saying, "It’s none of your business." Apart from that, you said many other hurtful things.

I still cannot brush off the image of my father staring blankly on the floor while you spoke out loud arrogantly.

After that incident, I visited fertility centres as part of my monthly routine. The doctors kept advising me by saying, I’m perfectly fine. So does your son, who doesn’t have any idea on why I’m suddenly obsessed with pregnancy. I took tons of fertility pills. I read hundreds of fertility articles. Every single morning, I woke with so much anger and agony. Anger, because I can’t prove you wrong till now. Agony, because waiting for any sign of miracle for me and there is none.

Various single lined pregnancy tests piled up inside our room. For three months, I was not myself. You turned my life upside down. That's when I poured my feelings out in front of your son. I know he was ashamed of your statement. He consoled me. Every single word he said nourished me. I felt empty after sharing my agony with him. His warm hug put my broken pieces together and now I’m shining like a new penny.

Here’s for you ma (mother-in-law),

I loved and married your son, greatest guy I have come across. I still respect you as my husband’s mother. Nothing more than that. Conceiving a baby, planning my pregnancy and raising them is the decision that your son and I will have to make. Not you. I have very big dreams and ambitions that I wish to achieve before stepping into the next stage of life.

I’m continuing my further studies. Thank God, your son doesn’t follow your blames blindly. I'm still thankful to my husband for encouraging me to go after my dreams. He never pestered or questioned my pregnancy like you did and we still enjoy each other’s company.

Without his support and encouragement, I’m nothing. Coming to you and me, we're done.

Sincerely,
Your ambitious daughter-in-law.

(Source: AkkarBakkar)

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